On a dark moonless night a short voluptuous teen unseasonably dressed in short shorts and a bulging industrial strength halter was followed by a seven foot tall man who resembled a professional wrestler in a prison uniform. His fashionably torn trench coat and pants ensemble was complete with sawed off shotgun and sword. The nails stuck in his head prevented him from wearing a hat. He hurried to catch up with her and asked “Say little girl, what’s your name and where are you going?”
“My name is Queen. My parents have high hopes for me and they haven’t been disappointed. I’m going to an orgy at Jack’s house. It’s odd that genitals are never seen, but many ample breasts will be on display. Want to come along? I’m sure the girls would appreciate a big manly man like you.”
“I had my mind more on slaughter. If my kill count goes over a hundred I get my fifth sequel.”
“I’d advise rethinking that. You don’t know about me?”
“Sorry, we’ve been filming in Canada for the subsidies and in Bulgaria because it’s so cheap.”
“You must know the Texas chainsaw guys?”
“Right, all of us supernatural or twisted mass murderers are in the Killer Fraternity. We have great keggers and ritual murders.”
“You haven’t heard from them lately. While I was on vacation in Austin, I went to their ranch, took their chainsaws away and performed surgery on them. They are now at the proctology hospice.”
“You probably know the guy in the William Shatner mask who specialized in Halloween massacres. After coming to our house to trick or treat, he decided to follow the real Shatner and take a rocket into space, but not come back.”
“Jason came to one of our orgies. No one at the orgy was hurt, but after a little gentle persuasion, he decided it would be a smart move the move to Japan and never come back to North America. He’s now doing battle with Godzilla, Rodan, Ghidra, and invisible ninjas. Oddly, none are ever permanently killed. It won’t change until people stop going to their movies.”
“A little girl like you did that? Surely you never faced Freddy Krueger? He can kill you in your dreams.”
“That pussycat? When he showed up in my dreams with his claws, I showed him my flamethrower. He had flashbacks to being burned by angry parents and decided it was time to hang up his claws and try something else. Now he has orgies in teens’ dreams. He dresses better now too. OMG, that striped sweater was gross. I could go on, but it would be immodest.”
“So you say I’d be welcome at your orgy for sex but not slaughter?”
“You bet big guy. Do me first, but in a good way.”
