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“This month’s exclusive article is on the final meals for the inmates before they are put to death. We have been to many prisons in several states which have the sense to deprive the dregs of society, the worthless, and the craven of the right to have any more chances to harm society.”
“We are not naming the prisons or the true names of the soon to be deceased. In many cases they have no remorse, or even claim that they do not deserve to be executed. We will not be a party to giving the miscreants any chance to brag or claim injustice.”
“Let’s meet Bobby X. He is slated to die in a week. He murdered five in a Synagogue, three in a Mosque, and four in a Catholic church in a tri-state rampage. What’s on the plate for that special day Bobby?”
“Before I answer that, just let me say that I’m not a bigot, you might even say I’m ecumenical regardless of what the papers say. I’m not forgetting your question. Listen, dammit, I want Coke with the meal. Trying to pass off Pepsi makes me mad enough to kill. Do I get to say that?”
“Sure Bobby.”
“The Coke better be Hecho En Mexico. The USA uses a different sugar, and it’s not nearly as good. I want the family meal from each of Burger King, MacDonalds, and Pizza Hut. I’ll nibble a little of each and do a taste test. The warden promised to publish my review, you know, after.”
“Is that enough Bobby?”
“Sure, you think I want indigestion?
“OK, catch you on the other side. Thanks for your time.”
“Sure, I have nothing else to do and I enjoyed the company.”
“Emily J. killed her three children by deliberately ramming her car into a tree at ninety miles an hour with Joey six, Tory eight, and Jerry eleven. She said that they were all better off dead, and she wished that she had died with them. I want to know a little more about her situation before we get to the meal. What do you say Emily?”
“Since I’m a goner in two days, I might as well fess up. After my third husband and I divorced, my new boyfriend said he didn’t want a readymade family. Supposedly leaving the seat belts off the kids and disabling their air bags would be sure to kill them while I would survive with minor injuries and be free to marry Jefferson. We were stupid when we thought we were smart and told four people we thought were good friends who could keep a secret. I’m through with those creeps. Then the car got examined and our rigging was caught.”
“Well Emily, tough luck. Back to the meal.”
“I’d like to try some things that I’ve never had, something exotic: A peanut butter sandwich with Oreo cookies, a Chardonnay chocolate float, orange slices, and Brazil nuts.”
“If you show up in the same place Emily, say hi to Jefferson when you join him.”
This is your correspondent Jack Wheeler signing off for this month, but be sure to continue the story in the July Death Row Magazine, available by subscription or at your supermarket checkout. You won’t believe what that drug-crazed champion bodybuilder is having just before he goes to the electric chair or the mild-mannered actuary before he visits the hangman.
Appears in Bindwood.
